Question always running through my mind, as well as any other living human being are; "What happens when I die? Is there really a Heaven & Hell? Does your soul really get to be free or does it just die too?" This all leads to some "after life", and we all wonder about it at one time or another, aren't we all afraid to die? I know that I am, and I also know that I wonder constantly what is going to happen to me, or when my time is going to be. I wonder how scared I will be, or if I will be as scared as I am now of dying. It's hard to put this all in prospective, no one wants to die!
I continue this battle with myself, maybe as some kind of peace in knowing, yet I always find myself still worried, or just not believing in things that I read. I don't know as a Catholic that I should believe in God, (isn't that a sin?), I don't know if I believe in the Devil, Heaven, Hell, Reincarnation, or your soul simply living on.
When we are dying do we feel pain? Well in some cases I imagine that you surely will, and in others, people die peacefully (or so we are told). Who can honestly tell me that someone dies peacefully when they are not that person, and not feeling what that person is feeling? I tend to figure in my mind that it's just a way to make people feel better, yet I don't buy it. I often wonder what people think, or feel in that moment of dying, do they wish they weren't, do they know they are still going to live in a new life, new body, or be able to make sure their loved ones are OK? I worry about a lot of things. I worry how a body that our "soul" lives in, can just die. After all isn't it our soul that is the living matter keeping the body prisoner?
It's like everything in us stops; the heart, breathing, blood flow, and your temp goes rapidly down, and that causes the body to be stiff. Why though? Is your soul saying enough? Is it saying that you've finally run this body to the ground, and I need to be free? I wonder if it's like we see in the movies where the soul is standing over their body, with the up most hurt you could see in a soul. Maybe they should stop making those movies when it's not proven that there is life after death, that's false advertisement. Then again who is to really know? They say that there are ghosts all around, so all of a sudden they are considered lost souls, I have yet to witness, so therefor I must not believe in that either.
We grieve the ones we love whom have passed on. We then move on after the grieving and live our lives like everything is OK. I just have trouble in accepting that, that's all there is to it. I have to sit and wonder, sit and think to myself and ask myself why??, and what happens now? That's who I am and I just don't accept. Here are a few example that apparently happen to your "soul" after death, with my opinions after.
Afterlife Theories:
- "Reincarnation: Your soul goes on to another body and you occupy that body until you die, and repeat the process until you understand the meaning of life."
So let's say I am the victim of "Reincarnation".. this would mean that I did not understand the meaning of life? So then you put my soul into a whole new body (assuming a baby if anything), and expect my soul to accept that? Wouldn't I be aware that this is not right, and these people in my life are not the people I know and love? Geesh no wonder babies cry like they do sometimes! That's kind of a punishment, I'd like to think! Oh wait, punishment for not understanding the meaning of life. I think I might fit well in this category!
-" Energy: Your soul (or "energy") goes on to become part of a universal energy in which you can understand the full knowledge of mankind, as their energies have conglomerated into one as well. Also used to manipulate electronics."
I just don't understand how anyone can have "full knowledge of mankind". I mean it's impossible, and those who claim to have serious issues. Then you get some super power with electronics, well that's kind of a cool outcome, but please leave mine alone! I don't like to be scared! I guess that's where they get the idea of ghosts, you know "energy", because they like to mess with electronics to communicate, right? Yeah, I just don't get this at all.
- "God: Your soul is the dust that has settled after God destroyed himself. Our lives and deaths contribute to the reconstruction of God as he was"
So, with this one I figure this is to the ones who worship and live by everything that is "God". I am sorry that I failed this but I have so much trouble in believing. Maybe he is real, and that would be so neat, but right now I have nothing to go by with all the different worships and Gods these people have.
- "Heaven/Hell/Purgatory: Judeo-Christian answer that if you are good, you go to heaven, if you are bad, you go to hell, and if you are neither, you stay in purgatory."
I don't know what to say, maybe i should ask. How do you know if you are good or bad.. and why does someone else get to decide the fate? God is suppose to love all his children, yet he apparently sends them to Hell? I thought he was about forgiveness, but maybe I am wrong.
- "Conscious: Once you have died, your soul belongs to a large conscious that is uncontrollable and all-knowing (Buddhist theory)."
So this would bring me to those movies I mentioned about the person dying and standing over their body. They are aware as to what has happened and lost and confused. I wouldn't want to have that on my shoulders.
So with those theories, I get scared more and want to never die. I don't find any of them promising, or realistic. Maybe I shall continue the "reincarnation", because I can't understand life? It's the big "circle of life", and I feel so lost in it, with these thoughts in my mind, and my soul crying because I know that some day I will die when I least expect it. There is no promise what will happen to your soul, it's someone Else's decision, so I ask why do so many continue to fight it? I know I do at times. "Life After Death", it's the question everyone has, and never will have an answer to until that fateful day takes their souls.
I continue this battle with myself, maybe as some kind of peace in knowing, yet I always find myself still worried, or just not believing in things that I read. I don't know as a Catholic that I should believe in God, (isn't that a sin?), I don't know if I believe in the Devil, Heaven, Hell, Reincarnation, or your soul simply living on.
When we are dying do we feel pain? Well in some cases I imagine that you surely will, and in others, people die peacefully (or so we are told). Who can honestly tell me that someone dies peacefully when they are not that person, and not feeling what that person is feeling? I tend to figure in my mind that it's just a way to make people feel better, yet I don't buy it. I often wonder what people think, or feel in that moment of dying, do they wish they weren't, do they know they are still going to live in a new life, new body, or be able to make sure their loved ones are OK? I worry about a lot of things. I worry how a body that our "soul" lives in, can just die. After all isn't it our soul that is the living matter keeping the body prisoner?
It's like everything in us stops; the heart, breathing, blood flow, and your temp goes rapidly down, and that causes the body to be stiff. Why though? Is your soul saying enough? Is it saying that you've finally run this body to the ground, and I need to be free? I wonder if it's like we see in the movies where the soul is standing over their body, with the up most hurt you could see in a soul. Maybe they should stop making those movies when it's not proven that there is life after death, that's false advertisement. Then again who is to really know? They say that there are ghosts all around, so all of a sudden they are considered lost souls, I have yet to witness, so therefor I must not believe in that either.
We grieve the ones we love whom have passed on. We then move on after the grieving and live our lives like everything is OK. I just have trouble in accepting that, that's all there is to it. I have to sit and wonder, sit and think to myself and ask myself why??, and what happens now? That's who I am and I just don't accept. Here are a few example that apparently happen to your "soul" after death, with my opinions after.
Afterlife Theories:
- "Reincarnation: Your soul goes on to another body and you occupy that body until you die, and repeat the process until you understand the meaning of life."
So let's say I am the victim of "Reincarnation".. this would mean that I did not understand the meaning of life? So then you put my soul into a whole new body (assuming a baby if anything), and expect my soul to accept that? Wouldn't I be aware that this is not right, and these people in my life are not the people I know and love? Geesh no wonder babies cry like they do sometimes! That's kind of a punishment, I'd like to think! Oh wait, punishment for not understanding the meaning of life. I think I might fit well in this category!
-" Energy: Your soul (or "energy") goes on to become part of a universal energy in which you can understand the full knowledge of mankind, as their energies have conglomerated into one as well. Also used to manipulate electronics."
I just don't understand how anyone can have "full knowledge of mankind". I mean it's impossible, and those who claim to have serious issues. Then you get some super power with electronics, well that's kind of a cool outcome, but please leave mine alone! I don't like to be scared! I guess that's where they get the idea of ghosts, you know "energy", because they like to mess with electronics to communicate, right? Yeah, I just don't get this at all.
- "God: Your soul is the dust that has settled after God destroyed himself. Our lives and deaths contribute to the reconstruction of God as he was"
So, with this one I figure this is to the ones who worship and live by everything that is "God". I am sorry that I failed this but I have so much trouble in believing. Maybe he is real, and that would be so neat, but right now I have nothing to go by with all the different worships and Gods these people have.
- "Heaven/Hell/Purgatory: Judeo-Christian answer that if you are good, you go to heaven, if you are bad, you go to hell, and if you are neither, you stay in purgatory."
I don't know what to say, maybe i should ask. How do you know if you are good or bad.. and why does someone else get to decide the fate? God is suppose to love all his children, yet he apparently sends them to Hell? I thought he was about forgiveness, but maybe I am wrong.
- "Conscious: Once you have died, your soul belongs to a large conscious that is uncontrollable and all-knowing (Buddhist theory)."
So this would bring me to those movies I mentioned about the person dying and standing over their body. They are aware as to what has happened and lost and confused. I wouldn't want to have that on my shoulders.
So with those theories, I get scared more and want to never die. I don't find any of them promising, or realistic. Maybe I shall continue the "reincarnation", because I can't understand life? It's the big "circle of life", and I feel so lost in it, with these thoughts in my mind, and my soul crying because I know that some day I will die when I least expect it. There is no promise what will happen to your soul, it's someone Else's decision, so I ask why do so many continue to fight it? I know I do at times. "Life After Death", it's the question everyone has, and never will have an answer to until that fateful day takes their souls.
No comments:
Post a Comment